Why?

The why, I write?

I work out my worldview. I work out ideas and things I read. I write about things I know. About things going on with the culture, things in my life, and relationships.

I have a lot to write about. My life is in process on many levels. You see, I spent most of my previous life in a state of fight or flight. My adrenals were pumping out cortisol daily. Anxiety ruled. Sleep sucked. My health was declining rapidly. Blood pressure, glucose levels, asthma, prostate. Everything was falling apart quickly to an early demise. I drank a lot in my early years. I have two failed marriages and three children later. My children’s mother is a narcissistic woman whose mother was also a narcissist. I still feel bad for my children. Evil women they are. And this is an ongoing story. I have a lot to write about!

After reading Julia Cameron’s book The Artist Way (see in the reading list), I started to write to do what she called “morning papers.” She explored the process of morning papers and just started the day writing whatever was on her mind. She expressed a creative process involved with the writing in the morning before your day starts. I began writing morning papers, but it soon became something more for me. It soon became cathartic for me. What a pleasant surprise.

There's great reward in writing whatever is on your mind or just what you know. Please, put it on paper, and watch the words formed by your hand that holds the pen. Look at the flow of ideas, be confident in your words and what they mean. And how you feel about the words. What experiences do they represent? How do you feel as you write on the page?

“We should write, above all, because we are writers, whether we call ourselves that or not.” ~ Julia Cameron

What does it mean to you? How do you feel? Pain, terror, anger, joy? What do you want from it? What are you trying to say, or whom are you writing about? Do you need to heal from some historic trauma you have forgotten but remains locked away in some remote neuron bundle in your head?

“A writer, I think, is someone who pays attention to the world”~Susan Sontag

Write about it. I do.

Julia claims there is great healing value in “papers,” morning, afternoon, or evening. You are healing the neurology that keeps you out of your right hemisphere because you don’t trust the memories. I don’t like them either; they are too painful but must be dealt with.

Increasingly, I write and post on a blog site I set up for one reason, for me. I do it for myself; I don’t write for an audience or have any goal of being able to monetize it. It's for me. Suppose someone on Facebook finds their way to my website; good for them. I hope it speaks to them on some level. But that’s my reason. And at any time, I can hit an icon on my phone, and it magically takes me to my site; a digital representation of my posts of what I have been thinking about recently exists.

“I write to find out what I’m talking about”~Edward Albee

Another thought about writing. As far as I can remember, I was not allowed to express myself as a child. As children, we were gaslighted for just about any expression of pain or joy, and don’t cry when you are being beaten for some transgression. Dysfunctional families are like that, especially with narcissists or alcoholics in the family. With writing, you can put it all on paper. Express it, all of it. Not quite a regression therapy session, but it is relevant.

Writing, for me, is therapeutic, educational, and expressive. And generally, it transpires in a solemn and quiet place. (I like to wear my earbuds with chill step music or movie soundtracks composed by Hans Zimmer.)

Well, that is all for today. You should get a copy of Julia's book and start your journey of morning papers. Check it out.