The Photograph
How it started…
With a Mel Robbins interview on Youtube with Dr. Russell Kennedy, MD, a physician, neuroscientist, somatic intuitive, and certified yoga instructor who struggled with crippling anxiety for decades and has finally healed. He authored the book Anxiety Rx: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief from the Doctor Who Created It.
. . .
What do I see in the photograph of this six-year-old boy?
Subjectively…how do I feel when I look at the photograph? Tears, anger, confusion? What happened to this child? Do I know him? Events, memories.
I don’t remember him; I don’t remember what it was to be him. Why don’t I know him? Are we the same person, of different ages?
Trauma, deliberate trauma. Hyper-sexualized, the 60’s. Pedophile abuse. Stress, anxiety, pain, alcohol, drugs, sex.
The Thief attempts to destroy us!
Bad decisions are based on insufficient data. The unconscious is in control. Narcissist family members. Parents that were damaged and children that were destroyed. You never know whom you are talking to.
I will take the time to get to know that six-year-old boy. I am spending time looking into his eyes to generate understanding and awareness.
This is my inner child looking back at me. He is a bright, intelligent, inquisitive child. A happy boy. His face shows no sign of stress or pain. No anger. He was an altar boy during grade school.
I've read about the inner child business of healing your inner child for years. John Eldredge mentions this concept several times in his writing, as do others, including Dr. Kennedy.
Bringing up bad memories and repressed memories. Too many to count. God help me, telling me I need to work through them.
It seems more coming to me than I remember. Life for most of my 67 years was a mess, with only a few really good memories, to be honest.
Thinking back several years and weeks, when I've prayed and asked God to help me be much wiser, understanding man. To be a “wise as serpents,” man. And little by little, I have had revelations about things in my life that lead to more revelations, venturing “deep in his love, deep in his ocean.” This is how he is answering the “asking.”
He loves us and wants to heal us and bless us. As Jesus said in the temple:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor: He hath sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,”
Luke 4:18, American Standard Version.
The trauma memories are getting in the way. Those repressed memories have blocked you from knowing your inner child. We must return to our conscious mind to live with abundance and healing. Providence will take place and orchestrate for you. Ask, seek, knock; He is listening and ready to act.
“I can hide in the shadows; You’ll find me every time.”
~Mark and Sarah Tillman
Journey to an early time in your life. Revisit your childhood past self. Pull out a photo of your kindergarten or 1st-grade self. See if you know that person in the photograph. What did you discover? Who is that person? Do you have memories of them? Talk to the child and get reacquainted. Invite God into the conversation. Ask for healing of the memories that come to the surface, all the trauma memories. Dig deep and take note of what feels painful. You can't run from them; you’ve probably spent a lifetime trying. Watch the memories flood your conscious mind one more time. Shed the tears as they arrive. Ask for forgiveness as needed. You have work to do. Call a friend or share with your mate, if you can, appropriately. Don't be afraid; it's one day at a time. Revisit the process as often as you can. Have the photograph framed and put on your desk where you will see it often.
“You must learn to understand the difference between good and evil if you want to understand your (true) self and change anything in the world as it is.”
~Alice Miller
. . .
Kennedy, Russell. Anxiety Rx: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief From the Doctor Who Created It. Awaken Village Press, 2020.
